Love Trumps Pots (aka Why Passive-Aggressive Behavior Never Wins)

Inspired by my girl Minda Harts, founder of The Memo, I've taken a 24-hour media break from the turmoil of our nation as an act of well-being. So this post is about dishes—more specifically, a pot. In my book Drop the Ball, I chronicle my struggle to create an all-in partnership with my husband, Kojo. In one of my weaker phases, I'd partially complete chores, like washing only my clothes and leaving his in the hamper, to protest our domestic labor imbalance and try to get him to do more (note: that doesn't work, ladies). Over time I figured out how to meaningfully engage him and he now does everything from managing our kids' social calendar to dealing with all of our snail mail. But every once in a while I regress back to this resentment behavior when I'm pissed about something totally unrelated. This week I washed a pot I used to cook my morning oats and intentionally left one of his dirty pots in the sink. I returned home from work to find this note. The lesson: Not only is passive-aggressive behavior ineffective in altering other people's behavior, it makes you look silly. Oh how I wish our President understood this.

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